


Sex ED for fic writing: Anal Sex Prep

by De_Mimsy



Category: No Fandom
Genre: (sort of), Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Anatomy, Condoms, Lube, Meta, Multi, Safer Sex, Sex Education, Sex Toys, gender-neutral language, preparation for anal sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-17
Updated: 2020-05-17
Packaged: 2021-03-03 00:35:37
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 755
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24235879
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/De_Mimsy/pseuds/De_Mimsy
Summary: This is a non fiction work about Anal Sex preparation, meant mainly as a help for fellow fic writers.
Comments: 3
Kudos: 18





	Sex ED for fic writing: Anal Sex Prep

**Author's Note:**

> Quick disclaimer: I’m not a sex educator (yet, I plan to some day add that to my professions), so this is written from one porn fic writer to others. The language is kept simple for understanding purposes, so there might be some inaccuracies. 
> 
> The knowledge I share here is what I gained through research and my own experience. Should you use this as a guide not for writing but for your own sexual experiences please do so on your own risk, as again, I kept it rather simple here. I’d strongly advise for further research on your part and to use this more as a starting point for reading.  
> When you try it yourself, always pay attention to your own safety and comfort, and do what you need to ensure them. Everyone is different and your own experience will probably differ from mine. 
> 
> I decided to address the reader as “you” here to keep it simple and avoid phrasings like “character a doing ... to character b” etc.

I won’t talk much about condoms here, but let me preface it with please practice safer sex and use them.

Aside from the douching prep, which I don’t want to go into too much right now either (ask me questions if you want to know more, here’s a link for general information: _<https://www.endinghiv.org.nz/articles/sex/douching-for-bottom-boys/>_ ) there’s, especially in fanfics, the talk about stretching prep.

In fanfics you’ll often read the one-two-three fingers thing, to get the character who’s bottoming “ready for the stretch” and there’s often a misconception going on. (Don’t get me wrong, fingering can be really hot in fics and often is done exactly for that reason, but you don’t necessarily need that kind of fingering.)

Let me explain: when it comes to the anatomy, the asshole consists of an inner and outer sphincter (the strong muscle ring that “closes” the anal canal), you all know the function that one has. This muscle ring is normally opening easily and on reflex when you need it to, however the opening to let something inside isn’t ‘natural’ and the first reflex is to stay closed, maybe even tense it more to make the intrusion harder.

Now, in the case of any consensual anal play/sex, you’ll have had foreplay to get you in the mood for sex, you’ll expect and want to be entered, and therefore the muscle ring will give. A lot of what’s making that possible is mental. When you’re about to have anal sex and you’re comfortable with anal play, and/or are experienced, having it with someone you regularly sleep with, someone you love and trust, it’ll be easy. It also can be easy with a casual hookup, how much trust you need for it is rather individual.

To enter, it helps to stimulate the nerves that sit right at the ring. Rimming, or stroking gently over it with a lubed finger/toy, eventually adding some pressure will often do the job (additionally kissing and stroking other parts of your partner’s body helps greatly too). After you get past the sphincters you enter the rectum. This part of the body adjusts easily to having something inside, and the size of what it adjusts to is rather secondary. At first the walls of the rectum will try to “hug”, closing around what’s inside. With some gentle push and pull it’ll give without issues.

What I’m trying to explain with all this is that getting the sphincters at the entrance relaxed enough to allow a certain girth and the in and out movement together with spreading the amount of lube (water/silicone based when using condoms) you need to prevent any injuries and make it pleasurable is what’s key. However you don’t need “scissoring” movements for that, nor do you need to work up from one to several fingers to do that either, especially when you’re used to it. It is possible to take a bigger girth in. The action of opening up for being penetrated is, again, mainly mental. If you’re inexperienced/ don’t do it often starting small and going slow is of course recommended since you want to be comfortable. Playing and teasing the rim, keeping it stretched open on the girth that’s entering, keeping your breath even and deep, purposefully relaxing into the feeling goes a long way. Using enough lube to keep the glide smooth and starting slow does the rest. 

Some people prefer to prepare with a finger anyway, using it to spread lube where it’s needed. Others like to wear bigger plugs for a bit first, especially if they plan to have rough sex, have sex for a while, it’s part of their foreplay, and/or want to be entered quickly. Aside from plugs there’re also special “spreader” plugs which instead of ending in a thinner tip spread open into two tips. These are available in several sizes. 

Of course fingering is pleasurable, it can be a great way of teasing and edging, especially when there’s a prostate to stimulate (and even afab bodies can greatly enjoy it, for some are really sensitive to the pleasure of the nerves you can reach that way, these nerves can be stimulated through the wall between the vaginal and rectal canals). I wrote this piece mainly to make fellow writers and readers aware that it’s not necessary to write fingering as stretching preparation for anal sex, and if you wish to do it, that you can use it deliberately as a sex act in itself.

**Author's Note:**

> I hope this is useful for you, if you have further questions feel free to ask in the comments. 
> 
> You can find [my social media links here](https://emma-demimsy.carrd.co/#contact) or on my ao3 profile page.


End file.
